Luckily, Lawyer Basic William P. Barr doesn’t stay on this world.
He has to spend time there, typically, principally so folks can yell at him about actions he’s enterprise on the president’s behalf. However on the planet the place William Barr lives, none of this stuff are occurring. He’s nonetheless the legal professional basic there, however extra importantly — he’s a crime-fighting hero! William Barr is the final man standing towards civilization-undermining forces which can be attempting to interchange our lovable nation with evil socialism!
Might a warmth ray be used to cease these villainous seditionists (who’re undoubtedly villainous seditionists and definitely not peaceable protesters)? William Barr is going to find out, and let nothing stand in his manner — definitely not precedent, and undoubtedly not the Structure! His ally is the president, , plucky man, who, if something, has too restricted a way of the scope of his personal powers. Collectively they possess undreamed-of, unprecedented powers, powers no different president and legal professional basic duo had thought to say earlier than! And their enemies throng thickly on each facet, be they anarchists, disgruntled Montessori preschoolers or each.
In Barr’s world, the actual risk to our democracy just isn’t the president who retains speaking about how he should have a 3rd time period and the way violence could also be wanted to cease “revolt”! It’s … the left! As he said to the Federalist Society final 12 months, “it’s the Left that’s engaged within the systematic shredding of norms and the undermining of the rule of legislation.” What a twist! “Their holy mission is to make use of the coercive energy of the State to remake man and society in their very own picture, based on an summary splendid of perfection. No matter means they use are subsequently justified as a result of, by definition, they’re a virtuous folks pursing a deific finish.”
Holy holy struggle, Barr-man! It’s factor Barr arrived on the scene in time to cease these crusaders for whom no sinister tactic is off limits. Higher get that warmth ray!
On this world, “antifa” is a much bigger risk than right-wing, homegrown terrorism (and never simply because, based on a current whistleblower, the Division of Homeland Safety was urged by Trump appointees to place out an inaccurate risk report that distorts the underlying evaluation)! You possibly can inform they’re deeply menacing as a result of, as Barr advised NBC Information, “They have websites.” Chilling!
In Barr’s world, threats lurk in even probably the most surprising corners. Medical doctors are the final folks it’s best to ask for suggestions about methods to maintain illness from spreading in society, since they don’t seem to be “grand seers.” William Barr, the grandest seer, seers proper via them. The coronavirus lockdown is the worst curtailment of civil liberties since slavery! Sure, you learn that appropriately! And the Black Lives Matter motion is “not desirous about Black lives”! Wait till you hear what struggle is (peace) and ignorance is (power)!
It’s a really thrilling place to stay, this world. On this planet the place Barr lives, protesters try sedition, they usually have to be dropped at justice — together with the dastardly mayors who allowed these assemblies to occur. In Barr World, he’s the final bastion standing towards nebulous, ominous forces that threaten to undermine every part the great residents of those United States maintain expensive, together with that which they maintain most expensive: the limitless, unitary govt authority of the president.
On this world, in fact, William Barr is a hero. In ours? I’m not so positive.
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